'She'll Grow Out of It': The Lorde Backlash - Hollywood Prospectus Blog - Grantland
“By criticizing Lorde for not being unquestioningly supportive of her fellow pop females, there’s an underlying message that if you are a woman you have a responsibility to like all women solely by virtue of them being women. There’s a creepy sisterhood mentality to all this, which in no way reflects how things work out in reality, but is still something a lot of girls are fed from a young age. I remember being 10 and loving The Baby-Sitters Club and the BFF lifestyle it espoused, and then being disillusioned when I actually got to junior high and we girls weren’t all exchanging friendship bracelets and braiding each other’s hair at lunch. Some girls get to be part of the Love Club, but many more do not. And the girls who do not also need their pop idols. At that time those girls turned to Fiona Apple and Tori Amos for solace, or anyone who could justify our suspicions that ‘this world’ — whether it was teen girl culture or the record industry — ‘is bullshit.’ Now, I imagine they’re turning to Lorde.
The common reaction to Lorde’s lack of filter is something along the lines of ‘she’ll grow out of it,’ but then we all turn around and applaud the audacity of 26-year-old Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Control’ verse. Courtesy, politeness, and grace all have their place in a budding celebrity’s toolbox, but they’re also cornerstones of debutante culture, not qualities we hold male artists to with nearly the same level of attention. Ella, in case nobody else has told you yet: Sometimes it’s OK not to like other girls. In fact, it is your right as a girl not to. I’m confident you will find it less necessary to be so vocal about it as you get older, and I’m certain you will find plenty of women your age you admire as your career progresses. In the meantime, try to ignore us grown adults attempting to have debates about feminism with your sound bites. We’ll grow out of it, I promise.”