What It's Like To Live as An Ugly Woman
“Men just like… don’t want to talk to you. They don’t see you. Wingmen, no matter how talented they may be in any other situation, seem to lose all ability to conduct small talk. For many people, I am a chore, a roadblock. I see, here on reddit, everywhere, this idea that all women are ‘taken care of,’ that men buy them drinks, hold doors open for them, help them lift heavy suitcases and boxes, etc. and I see that amongst my attractive friends. None of that happens for me. I am always served last. bartenders forget my order.
I recognize I’m not owed anything, but people just assume that women are showered with that attention for being female. No, women are showered with that attention for being desirable. I am not that—I do not receive that attention.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s nice to be invisible … Sometimes I feel like I could be an amazing criminal, because when you’re a woman, no one suspects you, and when you’re ugly, no one remembers you.
But on the other hand, it’s impossible to find a retail job, or a desk job. No one wants to hire an unattractive women for front-of-house. No one wants you to be the face of their company. And that whole ‘but attractive women are treated like they’re stupid, so at least you have that going for you’ is an absolute myth. People still talk over you, still talk down to you, on the off-chance they talk to you at all …
Sometimes people are attracted to you, and when you are not attracted to them … I mean, I’ve had people get mean. Because there’s the idea, the implication, that you aren’t going to do any better. Sometimes from your friends. Sometimes from the guy. Because no offense, but… aren’t you being a bit picky? You aren’t getting any younger, and there aren’t exactly many men—any men—falling over themselves to talk to you. But in general, you’re friendzoned more than you friendzone. My entire life is in the friendzone. People have laughed—openly—at the idea of dating me. To my face. ‘Her? No way.’”
You can read her response in full at Reddit